Here are some great tips for OKCupid
- Use tags. Tag your hobbies, e. g. [[Climbing]], and also books, movies, stars that you *really* like or that defined you. This is the single most important thing if you want people to find you based on shared interests or shared likes, so it’s doubly important if you don’t have an awesome photo of you.
- Choose a good profile photo. What you consider to be the best photo of you is not necessarily what will attract the people you’re looking for. Fortunately there’s free help on OkCupid: use the http://www.okcupid.com/my
bestface service to have lots of potential matches rate your photos.
- Answer questions. OkCupid is surprisingly good at matching people with similar outlooks on life through these questions, and this is another way that a lot of people will find your profile, if Quora suggests you as a good match. Use the ‘Answers I’ll accept’ and ‘Irrelevant/Important/Man
datory/…’ wisely in order to narrow down the kind of person you’d like to meet. Do not be too general – choosing general answers might have more people see your profile, but less of them will be potential matches who are attracted to what you say.
- Don’t come across as a women-hater / man-hater, a xenophobe or an idiot– especially when answering the questions. If a question is asked in a bad way that would have you choose an answer your match is likely to dislike, consider skipping the question (unless you feel strongly about the matter). Also note that there is a search feature so that you can find questions that are important to you, e. g. if you want to find people who are part of the same subculture or into the same kink. If you answer a question privately, as I’d recommend for kink questions, OkCupid will still use that to calculate a match percentage.
- As a man, think twice about selecting ‘casual sex’. Even if you wouldn’t mind that outcome, women are much more likely to skip your profile or ignore your message if that is among the things you’re looking for. The reason is that it changes the atmosphere of communication and eventual meet-ups, makes them feel that they ought to be extra cautious around you.
- Think twice about the target age range. Many people are put off if you’re not ready to date people your own age, only younger.
- Don’t write a novel. In no case should the profile take longer than 5 minutes to read completely; ideally less. Instead of putting so much info there, how’bout linking to your blog, if any, and your Quora profile? That way people can get the quick overview from reading your OkCupid profile and if they’re still wondering whether to write you, they can easily learn more about you from those sites.
- Spell-check your profile, and every message you send out.
And since I’m on a roll, a few tips regarding messaging:
- Read the person’s profile. Completely. Process what it says. I get countless messages from men looking for a ‘good Christian wife’ despite having stated clearly that I’m in a serious relationship already and not Christian. It’s a waste of time for both of us.
- Show that you read their profile. If your message could have been send to any number of people, you might as well not send it.
- Talk about common interests. Many people aren’t comfortable with the ‘meat market’ nature of OkCupid. If you think your match might belong to that group, approach them the same way you would if you were not meeting on a dating site. Rather than saying ‘Let’s meet up to see if we’re compatible’, suggest meeting up to engage in a shared hobby or the like. Better yet, don’t mention meeting up yet but start engaging the person in a discussion of one of their favourite things (favourite author, movie, hobby or the like). Unloaded conversation can also help you see if you’re suited for each other.
- Beware of the ‘Enemy’ percentage. I have answered messages from people with 60-99% match percentage, that one isn’t so important if the impression is good, but I’ve never talked to anyone with more than 7% Enemy percentage. Basically, one glance at the ‘Unacceptable answers’ and I see that we’d never get along.
- Make the first move. This advice is particularly true for guys: if you don’t message her, odds are almost non-existent that she’ll message you. It’s not right, but that’s the way it is.